WWould you be upset if this happened to you, how would you handle it? ?

I think what she's doing isn't right, she could do Alexander Desmond Or her fathers name and Desmond as a middle name. I don't think you are over reacting. Yes it is a free country, but every person has the right to be an individual and not have to share his/her name with someone so closely related like a cousin. But if she's already ordering the name plates and clothes with that name on it, I think she's going to go for the name. But if it was me,and i will admit I can be a b*tch, I would take something she loves and works hard on and make her feel how you feel. But then again, I do like to be a b*tch. Best Of Luck.