uality legality blue state/red state question?

My same life partner and I just had a vigorous round or two of steamy same lovemaking! The problem is, we are defiant, unrepentant blue state-ers living in a totally southern red state!! Many of the things we did together tonight during our same intimacy "event" are still on the books as illegal...and so, being good citizens we feel guilty and want to call the police on ourselves! what authorities should we contact and what should we do once we call them?? should we go "on the lam"? and hey, what gives them the right to interfere in the private arena of our same bedroom anyway???